Ces enfants qui ne s’entendaient pas...

Those kids who didn't get along...

Those kids who didn't get along...

Do you have that, you children who don't get along? I hear you laughing so far. “Well yes, we all live that!” Indeed, siblings who persist and argue over everything are quite common in most homes. At home, on the other hand, I often have the impression that the conflicts between my children are always more intense.
I have two daughters. Already, even if I don't like to genre things, I'm convinced to start with two takes. My oldest, who is just 10 years old, acts like she is 16! She knows everything, knows everything and does not need anyone, at least she has the very strong conviction. Add to this demonic attitude (I am hardly exaggerating) an overflowing energy. Always dancing, jumping, running… on one foot, on the hands or even climbing a tree. A hyperactive who does not like reading, solitary moments, or video games. It is a beautiful problem, you will tell me. Indeed! Except that when it is on 220 volts, it exhausts everyone. Her intensity, physical and personality, contrasts with that of her sister who is a thousand miles from this not at all restful ball of energy. My youngest is a sensitive and fragile little girl. As many things make her sad, she is the typical model of the brawling girl. Fearful by nature, she often needs the support of others to feel confident. Unlike her eldest, she does not hesitate to settle down quietly in her little corner to turn the pages of the same book again and again. More intellectual, she appreciates free games and DIY, moments when she can put her overflowing imagination to good use. Even if her smile which makes a small dimple in her cheek makes her cute as anything, her sometimes too slow pace requires a lot of patience from the people around her.
My daughters therefore each have a diametrically opposed personality which represents a dynamic identical to the effect of fire and water. “Getting along like cat and dog” could also apply. After all, my kids don't just get stubborn "sometimes." No! They are stubborn ALL THE TIME!
  • Come on, surely you're exaggerating?!
No, and therein lies the problem. They NEVER get along! My children are an unstoppable tornado. Nothing binds them and everything separates them. Too intense will rush the other who will cry. She who knows everything will emphasize the fragility of her younger sister who, feeling oppressed, will scream in despair. Obviously, our daily life always ends with the same outcome: a boil of inner rage while the other cries loudly for his life and we... Needless to say more. This challenge tints our entire reality as parents: weekdays, weekend evenings, family outings, travel, parties, car rides, dinner at a restaurant, grocery shopping... It goes without saying that this is not easy without forgetting that their quarrels only add to the other daily tasks of a busy life: work, subway, sleep and co.
Don't think I feel alone here, quite the contrary! I know consciously that this kind of reality is also for many other families and that the challenge is sometimes even greater in some homes. Even if I can't help but be jealous of the chemistry of a neighbor's children or the independence of a friend's children, I know for a fact that the grass always looks greener on the field next door. Despite everything, my daughters have a panoply of beautiful qualities that make them extraordinary individuals full of potential.I'm not the least bit worried for them…if they survive that long!
Jokes aside, the only advice I have for you who is going through this ordeal at any time of the day or night (I sympathize!) is to breathe through your nose, take a step back when you need it and arm yourself with patience I actually have a no worse list of favorites at the SAQ, if ever. Not that it's necessary, but it's sometimes useful to help let go after a hard day. Because, yes, the key is there! Let go and take an hour at a time. One day, they will be grown up, and you will get bored of them... or not 😄

September 8, 2021

Author: Karine Proulx

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